Have a Zoom Meeting, They Said—It’ll Be Fun, They Said

Patty's family Zooming

Jean: “Valerie, why are we doing this?”

Val: “Because it will be fun, Mom. And you don’t have to sit so close to the screen.”

Jean: “I know how to Zoom, for heaven’s sake—”

Val: “And you don’t have to shout, either. I can hear you just fine. Why don’t you turn down the volume—”

Kit: “For crying out loud, Val, why is your mother screeching—”

Val: “She can hear you, Kit. Mom, just sit back, talk normally, and enjoy. Okay, now I think you’ve put yourself on mute.”

Jean: “I can’t hear you with this mask on.”

Val: “You probably don’t need the mask inside—”

Kit: “Or the gloves.”

Emily: “Hi. Grandma!”

Val: “Mom, hit the mute button again.”

Jean: “Is that you, Emily? Why didn’t you tell me Emily was going to be on this Zoom?”

Val: “I did tell you. And hi, honey.”

Kit: “So Valerie, tell me again: why are we doing this?”

Val: “Because it’s fun to see each other. Mom, you’ve muted yourself again.”

Kit: “Val, I just saw you two hours ago. And last night. And the day before. Can I be excused?”

Val: “No, you cannot. This is fun. Mom, what is that noise?”

Jean: “It’s William Stuckey vacuuming. William Stuckey, stop that right now!”

Val: “Mom, turn the volume down.”

Elaine: “Hi, everyone! Sorry I’m late.”

Kit: “Who’s she?”

Val: “Kit, she can hear you. It’s Elaine, Buddy’s wife. Hi, Elaine.”

Elaine: “Is something wrong? I was worried when I got your text. I was afraid—”

Val: “No, nothing’s wrong. I just thought this would be fun—Mom, you’ve moved the screen. We can’t see—”

Kit: “So when does it begin?”

Val: “What do you mean begin? It’s already started.”

Kit: “I mean the fun. When does the fun begin? And why are we looking at your Mom’s knees?”

Val: “Mom, move the screen higher. And take yourself off mute. And Emily, tell us how you are, for Pete’s sake.”

Jean: “Emily, you look very thin. Are you eating?”

Emily: “Yes, Grandma, I’m eating, and—”

Elaine: “Emily, you do look thin—”

Jean: “She looks just fine, Elaine—”

Elaine: “But you just said—”

Kit: “Oh, you are right, Val; this is fun—”

Val: “Please, everyone; don’t all talk at once.”

Everyone: “What?”

Val: “Oh hell. I have stuff to do. Let’s try this again another time.”

Kit: “Will it be as much fun?”

Val: “Yes, dammit, it will be fun.”

Before Covid-19 and ubiquitous Zoom meetings, Val and Kit solved another murder mystery, No. 7 in their series. Read all about it in KNOWING PEOPLE, to be released December 8, 2020. Pre-order now!